The Power of “Small Stories”

I met Inzamamul Haque yesterday.

I met him in the town’s smallest cafes. He was serving me coffee. 

“I am not like him!” He said with a chuckle.

“You’re not as good in cricket, you mean?” I asked.

He smiled back shyly and said, “I mean I’m not like him in size!”

We both laughed about it!

You would get the reference if you’re a 90’s kid.

Inzamam started following cricket around the time his famous namesake retired from the sport.

Today, a small encounter in coffee shop brought back a smile, memories and a warm connection to someone who also bears the weight of a famous name, like me. As I posted our picture on Instagram, I was filled with a surge of emotions.

I know what it’s like to bear a ‘famous name’ and live under its weight.

For years, I lived under the shadow of the famous Bengali film maker Rituparno Ghosh. I got my first (& only) job because of my name. For several years, I got fan mail, portfolios and requests for appointment from aspiring actors. With my name, I could speak to people about cinema, Bengal, arts’ music and culture. My name was mispronounced and I had to constantly remind people about the difference ‘o’ and ‘a’ in our names. Rituparno’s sexual identity and my name with it were also a subject of insensitive jokes.

By the time I turned to professional storytelling, we lost Rituparno unexpectedly. The fact that my namesake was a master storyteller himself was both a thing of joy and confusion.

I was worried that if people Googled “Rituparna Ghosh Storyteller”, he would come up, or news of his death would! Our names were often mixed up and SEO until a decade back threw back more content on Rituparno Ghosh than on Rituparna Ghosh. And it was true. I was nowhere on the internet whereas he was all over it.

Rituparno changed the vocabulary of Bengali cinema & brought about a renaissance through his human storytelling. His loss was a huge loss for the world.

Rituparno passed away on 30th May 2013.

It’s taken me 10 years to earn a name for myself in the world, in the minds of people and on the internet.

I owe it to Rituparno.

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Here is a small encounter, a chance meeting with someone I didn’t know until yesterday. This brief encounter, became a Small Story about my own name and how I look at it.

I want you to take a moment to experience The Power of Small Stories.

A Small Story is a moment tucked in the everyday-ness of our ordinary lives. It is a tiny exchange of human interaction that unlocks our mind and nudges us to make a conscious connection or change in our lives.

A Small Story has the potential to take us deeper into our consciousness, help us evaluate values, choices and decisions in life.

A Small Story is easily gathered, if you notice the small moments of your life.

A Small Story instantly connects with people because it connects with the everyday-ness of their lives.

The Small Stories are so small that we often tend to overlook them. They happen to us all the time. They are super useful stories and have deeper use in our personal, professional, creative and business lives.

5 Ways to Harness the Power of Small Stories:

Encounters – If you are stepping out of the house, you are meeting people. In your everyday encounters of meeting known people, look out for encounters with unknown & invisible people. For example the doorman, a fellow traveler in the elevator, your cabbie (Uber Driver story is a best seller), a fellow shopper in the supermarket, or a Zomato delivery guy (another best seller). Say hello, ask them their name and ask a question that shows you care for them and their story. For example, ask the doorman, “How many doors do you open in a day?” Or ask the Zomato guy, “Have you ordered on Zomato?” Ask your fellow shopper, “Is this your favourite place to shop?” When you meet someone, it is an incredible moment to get out of your story and step into another’s. In that way, an encounter is special moment where find something common and unique between you and the person you meet. It adds a new perspective and you bring back a new way of looking at that energy exchange.

Observations – This my favourite! I love being the fly on the wall, watching people talk, interact, laugh, fight, argue, manage their emotions and share energies. If you are in the business of managing people, or in functions like client relations or sales, take out time to observe people around you. This is best done in places where you can become invisible to people around you. So take yourself to places where no one expects you to be the one talking. Take public transport, or sit in a corner in a noisy cafe or walk around a busy marketplace not with the intention to buy, but with the intention to study people. Your task should be to share energies in the various transactions. Being the outsider in this viewing gallery, you will get an unbiased, unattached understanding of what makes people collaborate or be in conflict with others. You will learn to study egos and emotions.

Dialogue – I love eavesdropping. There, I said it. It is a wonderful hobby to have. While encounters are more active, observations are more powerful when you invest in listening to conversations between people. People share dialogue for many things. From talking, lying, confessing, covering up, manipulating, leading, arguing, disagreeing, debating to exploring human interaction is replete with dialogues of many kinds. Listen to people and take it as an opportunity to evaluate your own responses. When I say you listen, remember you must listen without judgement or prejudice. Dialogue is also a statement, a compliment, a comment, a remark made my people in active conversations with you. To me, dialogue is also about the very interesting questions my son asks me. For example, he asked one day, “What is the purpose to life?” At another time he asked, “Why do we need to learn about emotions?” Learning to listen, study and practice dialogue helps you to manage better conversations with people.

Action – Me starting pilates is a small action story. It’s a small act really. I mean it’s really nothing extraordinary to make a story out of! But to me, it is. I have never paid such a bomb for a fitness program. And its a big deal. To you, it could be learning to drive. Or cooking your first meal. Or making a new sale. Or making a presentation. Or leading a team. Or telling your first story. Invest in activities that are BIG for you, but small to someone else. When you do something BIG yet SMALL, you are creating an action story that is memorable for you. By sharing that story you are bringing out the contrast in your lives, telling people that your small achievements are story worthy.

Emotions – We are a sum of our emotions. Like it or not, we are driven by our emotions. The more we spend time understanding our emotions, the better we know ourselves. Think of moments that bring out the best or the worst in you. Emotions of others, those you encounter, observe, talk or engage with are equally important. If you know you have a difficult client on the other side, or tough competition, a slow team mate, or an angry boss, if you know HOW to manage your emotions in a given moment, you will be better equipped to stay ahead of the curve. In your journal of small stories, note the emotions that trigger you for the better or the worst. Make a note of emotions of others that you find difficult or easy to handle.

To help you journal your Small Stories, here is a simple, crisp and easy template:

Small Stories Part 1

Gathering Small Stories is an intimate exercise that you can do at the end of every day.

Spend 15 mins with yourself and recall the moments of the day. If you don’t find anything incredible in a given day, make a note to invest in the small moments that are awaiting you.

So if you are looking for Dialogue, here is something ready-made to get started!

In my case, did you notice how an “Encounter” connected to an “Emotion” story? That’s how connected our lives are!

Small Stories are like the atoms of our lives, the tiny moments that make us who we are. The Small Stories in our professional & business interactions are filled with useful information that is hardly harnessed.

For example, the Small Story when you were interrupted in the middle of a presentation? 

Or the Small Story of how your customer pointed out what your product is missing?

Or maybe, a Small Story of how your driver told you how he deals with constant honking in the background?

Look at Small Stories that feed into the stream of stories that build your Personal & Business Brand.

There is a Story waiting to be crafted and retold! Your stories don’t have to be never-ending sagas. They can be tight, crisp and precise. Follow the Small Story Template and tell me if you need help!

Can’t find a Small Story worth telling?

Listen to a story in my podcast and have a conversation with (yourself or) someone close to you!

Golpo: Stories from Around the World is a collection of Stories that can be shared anywhere, in the Classroom, in the Living Room and in the Boardroom.

The stories are meant to trigger conversations amongst people. 

All you need to do is connect the dots, find small stories that will interest the person you want to communicate with, and tell it simply. 

What’s your Small Story of the day? Go ahead & tell it today! 

Until the next story,

Happy Storytelling!

Rituparna